At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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