You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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