I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize