I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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