Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize