I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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