I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I haven't been this sober since birth.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
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Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Someone signed my nipple.
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