the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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