these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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