I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize