Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize