i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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