I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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