Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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