just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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