I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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