Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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