i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize