He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize