Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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