so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
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So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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