Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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