All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
did i walk over a car last night?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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