She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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