forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize