I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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