am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to make out with him forever
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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