think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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