Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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