Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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