i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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