she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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