i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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