She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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