I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize