try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize