I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The air was thick with penises
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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