You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
as a side note pls kill me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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