It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tasted many bathrooms
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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