just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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