Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Help. Why am I so naked?
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