I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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