So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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