I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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