Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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