Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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