RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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