haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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