So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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