So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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